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I surrender

I give up, obviously I am unable to communicate in English.
I thought that I said that I was wrong to get irritated, I thought that I said that maybe it was hard enough learning a new language and remembering the gender was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Apparently, I didn’t say that. Many people have written to tell me that I have insulted them, that they will never speak to me again…damn…maybe I shouldn’t blog anymore

About Theresa

Born in New York City, I grew up in California, and have lived in 3 countries and 6 states. I'm a first generation Cuban-American who lives in Merida, Yucatan, Mexico. I'm committed to living an abundant and creative life and helping others do so too through DIY!


  1. teresa freeburn

    yikes. i just read all these comments and am really curious about the post that generated them. how can i find it? just curious to see what could have caused all the commotion.


    teresa en lake stevens

  2. Amanda, when you are learning a language it’s one thing. My original post that I didn’t even publish, but maybe I should have, was about people who have been here, say that they speak Spanish and still consistently do that stuff. It’s like they don’t care, or maybe they don’t think it matters.
    As for your spelling, my very first job was working for an elementary school teacher correcting papers. So while I do notice that stuff,I can’t help it! I don’t care as long as I can figure out what you are saying, which usually I can.
    I think you will like spelling in Spanish, it’s easier as long as you remember the sounds. Fonetik spelling rules!

  3. Wow so I didn’t comment on the original post mostly because my Spanish does still suck. lol
    But I do distinctly remember you saying that you shouldn’t get so upset about it.
    And when I was reading how much it bugged you I kinda giggled about what a conversation with me in Spanish would be like for you. (I’m giggling now)
    If you cant write how you feel on your blog whats the point. Sorry you got beat up but by the looks of these comments I think you still have plenty of readers. Hey I’m still here bad spelling and all (wink wink).

  4. Fned, thanks.Well said and hopefully that is all on this subject!

  5. Yikes! Missed all the drama but I just wanted to say two things:

    a) I DID get from your initial post that you were saying “maybe you were wrong” in being so touchy about the gender thing

    b) I DID get from your initial post that you admit you yourself make those same mistakes so perhaps it wasn’t such a big deal

    Whoever got offended by your post, not only can’t speak Spanish, they can’t read English either!!

    So glad you didn’t let that stop you from blogging!


  6. Brenda, of course, you are right. Thank you for the support.

    Hi Pete, generally that is what I do. I write like I am writing to a friend or family member. Maybe that is why some people chose to take it personally, I do write that way. I am glad that I have such a great audience that likes my stuff.

    Norm, see I can’t spell either! and spell check was no help at all, you can just imagine what it offered me for options. Dennis worked with me at the bus yard, he was/is a great guy. Ex helicopter pilot, probably running the place by now if he stuck around.


  7. My last name is spelled Kwallek, there are maybe a hundred Kwalleks strewn across the US and Canada.

  8. Theresa,

    Always write what you feel! This is what blogging is all about. If someone doesn’t agree, I see that as a good thing – it generates interest and discussion.
    I enjoy reading your blog and have for a while.


  9. Ignore them and keep on writing. Enjoy your blogging style, etc..
    Your blog, write as you like.

  10. Ron, okay, I am looking forward to that post!

    Norm, wow, really? thank you! Hey, I have been meaning to ask you are you related Dennis Kowalik (did I spell that right?) who lives in Northern Cal? (same last name, but I don’t know how common a last name yours is?).


  11. You can not insult me. I can not spell, grammer is something you make smoores out of and all I care about is style. You have it in spades. You were the first blog that I started reading every day. If links mean anything at all, the people who have linked to your blog all seem to be a class group. Birds of a feather.

  12. Theresa, you got it.

    My Spanish is better than just Portugues, I think :). I am not concerned about being where there are no English speakers. I can also say

    Muy bien, No hay problema. I think I see a blog about language in my near blogging future.

  13. Ron! I understood the Portuguese, I had to read it twice but I think I got it! I think you wrote “very good, I don’t have a problem” or maybe “very well, not a problem” would be a better translation into English. See you are so far ahead of the game!!! Of course, I probably can’t understand it if you are speaking. I bet reading Spanish is like that for you!

  14. Thanks Mikey! I appreciate the support. You are right. I got caught up in it all.

    JJ, To be honest,I don’t think I meant that I would stop blogging forever, but I was giving up on trying to explain myself and feeling frustrated. I think of myself as a good communicator and bought into trying to defend what people thought that I had written. Is that a convoluted sentence or what?
    In a way I haven’t failed in blogging daily, I just didn’t blog much today, though I did reply to a lot of comments (so in effect I blogged via the comments).
    Thanks for reading my stuff! I appreciate it.


  15. Theresa,

    I am afraid the option I like, that gives one a place to type a name and a URL (on two separate) lines is probably the same one that allows people to do the anonymous thing.

    Muito bem, não tem problema 🙂

  16. I know now you didn’t mean it but I will continue with the support and say I read you daily, have loved this month-long (almost) quest and will beat the crap out of anyone that makes you stop writing. People jumping all over us for what we write just makes us tougher broads. Bring it. 🙂

  17. Hate you? Never! Just want to encourage you to keep on keeping on! I am just absolutely amazed at all the controversy. Your opinion is your opinion. We readers/bloggers don’t have to agree, but we shouldn’t take such offense at someone elses commentary. It wasn’t slanderous, so why all the fuss? I’m a Spanglish speaking resident of Merida, Mexico, and I continue to try and do better in the language. Unfortunately, I often fail miserably. Don’t hate me for my efforts! Continue to blog, blog, blog!

  18. Hate you? Never! Just want to encourage you to keep on keeping on! I am just absolutely amazed at all the controversy. Your opinion is your opinion. We readers/bloggers don’t have to agree, but we shouldn’t take such offense at someone elses commentary. It wasn’t slanderous, so why all the fuss? I’m a Spanglish speaking resident of Merida, Mexico, and I continue to try and do better in the language. Unfortunately, I often fail miserably. Don’t hate me for my efforts! Continue to blog, blog, blog!

  19. Steve, you deal with conflict and adversarial situations better than me. Look at our career choice, you are a lawyer! I am looking forward to meeting you in November!

    Roni, we will have to see. If I start telling Kathy what a saint she is, you will know that you are in trouble!It cracks me up that I can almost read Portuguese.
    I don’t know what you mean about the old “url”, I decided not to allow anonymous comments anymore. I have noticed on other blogs too that when people don’t sign something to their comments they feel free to be meaner than if they have to use a name of some sort. If you can show me how to do that and enable the “url” I will. Also it makes me crazy because I don’t know if I am answering the same person or someone else. Sorry for the inconvenience.

    BW Marie, you are so level headed! You are right, I have read blogs where people write really mean things and I have told the bloggers the exact same thing you are telling me. I feel like maybe I over reacted. Thank you again!

    David, I am glad you like my blog. Thank you for telling me that you think that I am wonderful. As for saying stupid stuff, well that isn’t exactly what I was talking about, but it seems like the conversation has drifted off into other stuff anyway.


  20. Theresa, You are wonderful. Someday you may even think something I said is stupid. You may be right and you may be wrong, but you will still be wonderful.

    I thank you every day for the contribution you make to my daily reading.

    Muchisimas gracias,


  21. when you get “ganged up on,” it is hard not to start to doubt yourself.

    unfortunately, i learned this the hard way. but once you get “the light back” the good news is, you are solid.

    as soon as the nonsense starts, you will dismiss it.

    no one is forcing them to read your blog.

  22. Just wait until I get down there and start speaking Spantugues around you. You’ll have to guess whether my goofs come from Portuguese or from memories of 7 years of Spanish instruction or from my lifelong love of making up words.


    Also please enable the old name ‘ URL combination for those of us who do not care to give too much up to Google. They do evil 🙂

  23. I have been there. Even when Jennifer slams me (a rare event), I keep on writing. That is why we do this, after all. We should have some good tales to share in November.

  24. Leslie, you are a doll. I just reached a frustration level and it came out.

    Marie, I just lost sight of the light for a moment. I let my frustration at feeling misunderstood (and maybe a little pick on) get out of control. You are right.


  25. toxic people will find something wrong with at least something or some part of something. do not modify your behavior in response to their criticism. they will CHOOSE to find something wrong with your new choices. even if they are the same thing the SAID that yous should do.

    Shine their stuff back at them, don’t absorb it.

  26. I completely agree with Jennifer, too. This is your blog, write whatever you want, whenever you want. We all love what you have to say. And I’m loving the fact that I get to read it everyday.

    Hugs to you. And I hope you don’t let them bother you. 🙂

  27. Jonna, I was feeling abandoned and alone, but I certainly was wrong. Thanks.

  28. Good God! I’m with Jennifer. So these fools are writing you privately to say this shit? Screw them. If they can’t take the truth they should just shut up and forget about learning the language. If you blunder along with any kind of attempt the very polite people here will lie through their teeth at you and tell you how well you are doing. If you believe it, I have a bridge for you or better yet a wall in Arizona that doesn’t work very well and I’ll sell it cheap.

  29. Sitka&Co, thanks, but this is gonna count as my post for today. I will write better stuff tomorrow.

    Mimi, you are a true friend.You are right.(both times) It’s just my frustration showing.

    Mérida Mikey, 16 comments so far, friking amazing, doncha think? Glad to hear you don’t hate me.

    Irene, I won’t stop, just feeling misunderstood but like I will post a better post tomorrow.

    Jennifer, So tell me how do you really feel?…I was feeling misunderstood and picked on. It must just be my turn in the barrel.


  30. Screw ’em. F*ck ’em and feed ’em Frootloops.

    Write what you want, and plant what pleases you. You’re old enough, you’ve been around the block enough times, and, by gum, most people like you!

    Those pesky, ignorant foreigners just don’t get it. And never will.

  31. Hey Theresa,
    I’m back with another thought. You should go read the comments from you June 2 post “where do we go from here”. I think they will lighten your heart and clear some of the slime.
    Love Mi

  32. Please do not stop. I enjoy reading about your life in Mexico and the stories you have been writing for your grandchildren.

  33. Hard to believe all the controversy about a blog! I find it all rather interesting. You got folks thinking, and that’s a good thing! I say, continue to blog! Don’t stop now! Besides, The Blogger’s Bash is coming up and I’m sure there will be bloggers looking for you!

    Blog is the word!

    Spanglish is the vernacular!

  34. Theresa,
    Maybe you shouldn’t let people who only see what they want when they read dictate what you write.
    Could it be possible, that they who were so offended also woke a bit cranky and thus took such offense to you post? I hope so, but even if it’s not I will be greatly disappointed if you stop blogging.
    Those who take offense at other’s opinions need to release their own “queen bees”
    Hang in there, don’t you dare quit blogging!
    Hugs Mi

  35. You can’t stop now! You’re a week away from your month-long quest. We’ve been continually checking in on your progress. We’ll keep reading and I am sure a lot of others will too.

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