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Phish and Spam, What a treat!

I am lucky that I don’t get a lot of spam, but sometimes it’s fun to read. I have a letter from Mr. Niam Cho, Director of Operations of the Hang Seng Bank Ltd, Sai Wan Ho Branch, Hong Kong.Mr Cho writes “I have an obscured business suggestion for you.” at least it wasn’t an obscene suggestion.
Perhaps I should invest my lottery winnings in his investment scheme? Yes, I also received a notice from Fed Ex stating that CHEVRON/TEXACO LOTTERY OFFICIALS, have paid postage on a package for me. They just need to know my full name, address and sex!
Cecelia Garang sent me a letter addressed to “Dearest”, no name just the overly familiar salutation. She says “considering the fact that I sourced your email contact through the Internet in search of trusted person who can assist me.” further more she states “I am seeking for long term relationship and investment assistance.” She needs my bank account number so she can transfer $12.7 million dollars US into my account because her wicked stepmother is blocking her inheritance. My fee for supplying my bank information would be 20%.
I am so glad for these two windfalls since Muhammad Salim doesn’t really want to assassinate Husband, and if we send him $7,000 ( darn he specifies dollars but maybe he will take pesos?) for his team’s travel expenses he is willing to call off the dogs!
oops, he further instructs me not to tell anyone,

ENOUGH EVIDENCE YOU NEED ON A VIDEO
>
> TAPE RECORD TO NAIL MY EMPLOYER DOWN WITH THE LAW.
> BEFORE THAT YOU’RE REQUIRED TO MAKE AVAILABLE THE SUM OF
> $7,000. USD, AFTER WHICH I WILL
>
> DIRECT YOU ON WHAT TO DO NEXT TO SAVE YOUR SELF AND YOUR
> FAMILY FROM THIS PAIN THAT WOULD
>
> HAVE BEFALLEN YOU FROM MY EMPLOYER, THE MONEY WILL BE USED
> TO SETTLE THE TEAM MEN INVOLVED
>
> TO GO BACK TO THERE DESTINATIONS AND YOU BETTER KEEP THIS
> INFORMATION TO YOUR SELF BECAUSE
>
> YOU DONT KNOW WHO IS WHO WHERE YOU ARE NOW, IF HE FINDS OUT
> I HAVE BETRAYED HIM TRYING TO
>

I went to SNOPES and found out that Mr Salim is asking considerably less than the original hitman scam and of course Miss Garang is doing a variation of the Nigerian Scam
The Fed Ex package is a probably a version of the Courier Parcel Scam or maybe it’s a type of lottery scam?

Mr Cho? I don’t know what his scam is called, but it has all the earmarks.

About Theresa

Born in New York City, I grew up in California, and have lived in 3 countries and 6 states. I'm a first generation Cuban-American who lives in Merida, Yucatan, Mexico. I'm committed to living an abundant and creative life and helping others do so too through DIY!

12 comments

  1. Refried Dreamer, you just aren’t looking at the ridiculousness of the spam you do receive! I have to confess that usually I don’t read my spam either.
    regards,
    Theresa

  2. haha…. that’s awesome. My spam is never that interesting. Perhaps I should start soliticing on the internet.

    thanks for the laugh!

  3. WfM-thank you. I am glad you liked it.
    regards,
    Theresa

  4. Still laughing out loud at your stitching your spam together into a cohesive and hilarious whole!

  5. Mic, see what I mean? Speaking to God is one thing, but having him speak to you is life altering!
    regards,
    Theresa

  6. hahaha…Teresa, you forgot Jonah being swallowed by the whale. Takes considerable effort to avoid all those whammys 🙂

  7. 1st Mate,no I have been spared that one. Besides if God speaks to someone it usually doesn’t work out well for the receiver, ie: Moses never makes it to the Holy Land, Noah has to build an ark, other people end up blind and maimed or asked to sacrifice children. I really would have to turn down any cash if one of the conditions was having God speak to me.
    regards,
    Theresa

  8. Have you gotten the extremely religious one that promises millions that can be used in whatever way God directs you? Just in case you’re not greedy, just foolish.

  9. Mic, glad you liked it.

    Steve, I understand that Jiggs has a cat on back order. It’s due to arrive any day now, that is how we got our cat, after all.

    JJ, it is amazing isn’t it? Who falls for this stuff? I knew someone’s mother who kept thinking that she won the Irish Sweepstakes, but she was quite elderly and a bit confused, but the others are just too unreal. Husband and I had a great time composing imaginary answers to the assassin, such as “thanks for the warning, we threw the bodies down the well, they were posing as JWs”, Just another day in paradise.

    regards,
    Theresa

  10. Wow, threatening emails? That IS exciting. I get those emails (the Nigerian scam ones, not the threatening ones) all the time and everytime I send them to spam (if they aren’t there already) I think to myself, Does this still even work? Who DOESN’t know about this by now? But the world is full of idiots, and we’re just out here trying not to crash into them, I guess.

  11. Even your spam is more interesting than mine. The only thing I have received are notes by the dog’s bowl: “Putt more fudd in the dawg’s dish orr the kat gits it.” In what looks like Jiggs’s aging scrawl. He seems to have forgotten we do not have a cat.

  12. Hilarious!!! Thanks for starting my day with a laugh 🙂

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